Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Online Dating

My second anniversary was last week. We got married on Veterans’ Day because we are both bloodied veterans of the Divorce Wars. We ran off to Vegas to do it. Lots of fun!

I met my husband online through a personal ad I put up mostly to have somebody buy me dinner. The guy I moved to Cleveland to be with had broken up with me for the second and last time and I was more than ready to replace him. He was a cheap bastard who insisted that we always go Dutch when we went out, whether it was steak or coffee. So, I was ready meet someone new.

About this time, a friend of mine at work confessed to me that she was putting ads on some popular dating sites and was having no luck meeting a nice guy. Since I’d done it on the first try, could I help her have similar success?

I read a couple of her ads and right away I discovered what her problem was: she was lying her ass off. And being very obvious about it, too. No body goes online for love if they’re that accomplished at art and languages. She claimed that she spoke 3 or 4 languages. She misrepresented her height, her hair color, her weight, everything! So, when she finally met somebody in person, they knew they had been lied to.

I tried to tell her that honesty was the best policy but she insisted that truthfulness was irrelevant. What ‘magic words’ had I used that caught Brian? I had just told the truth about my looks, my kids, my profession, everything. And I also used the word ‘buxom’, again, truthfully. He has said that that word was really attractive to him. I told her to tell the truth, no matter what.

As far as I know, she was still lying online in her ads and still looking for Mr. Right the last time I talked to her. The business we both worked for collapsed and closed so I don’t really know.

My best advice to someone looking for love online is to tell the truth. The line of people waiting for marriage licenses in Las Vegas proves that there really is someone for everyone! :-)

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