Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Craig's List

The hubby and I are Judge Judy fans. I DVR her show and we watch them in batches when we have the time, usually in the evening after dinner. If you pay attention to the Judge and follow her advice, you will never get screwed out of your money or your time.

Craig's List is mentioned, a lot! It seems to be where people meet people to make mistakes with. So, being naturally curious, I decided to check it out.

I started with the personals. That seemed a great place to find something funny and I found something pretty quickly. The following are presented exactly as they were posted.  The spelling and grammar are those of the original authors.  Get this:

"I'm a mature, decent looking, hard working, white collar gentleman looking for an attractive, intelligent older woman (40+) for occasional nights of submission to my sexual demands. I won't hurt you, but I'll have you submit to all of my sexual needs for a lengthy period of time, until we are exhausted. If interested, please respond with age, hgt, wgt, location, and a photo. No games, please."

I highlighted the last sentence as it is just hilarious! No games?!? I thought that was what he was advertising for, someone to play a game with!!


"Nice looking married white male in his mid 50s seeking an attractive, educated, stylish woman of any marital status, preferably between the ages of 30-55, height to weight proportionate, for a long term "friends with benefits" relationship. Seeking a woman who for whatever reason does not want the trappings of a 24/7 relationship but misses the enjoyment of a SAFE, available and satisfying sex partner. You might be a busy career woman, an unhappily married soccer mom or someone with a lot of day-to-day commitments that make it difficult to sustain a conventional relationship, but miss an occasional evening of "rock my world" lovemaking with no regrets and no other expectations. Please respond with basic details and a photo. Thanks. Serious replies only. "

Do women really respond to these ads? I found my hubby online 12 years ago. Whilst I had my profile up, I was contacted by several men who just wanted a 'fuck buddy'. As far as I know, this is a male concept. Women may fool around but they usually want some sort of emotional attachment to the people they are fucking. "Men need a place, women need a reason" to have sex. There are lots of these ads on CL.

I had to click through to find out what this meant:

"Fake men got it good what I mean by that Is
All these fake men got a real woman while a real man gotta struggle to get one
I'm looking for somebody I can watch lifetime with help her wash dishes make her breakfast In bed
You know real gentlemen type If you wanna be treated like a queen with all loyalty and respect
Get back at this real man right here”

Um, what do any of these activities have to do with being a man? Guess good grammar and spelling have nothing to do with being 'real'.

From someone selling jewelry:

"1 carot marquie solitair engagement ring with 1 1/2 carot wrap has baggets and round diamonds. very nice set. asking 3000.00 obo."

As far as I know, you need a computer to put an ad on Craig's List. Every computer I know of has some sort of spell checker on it. There is simply no excuse for the travesty above. For three grand, you could at least spell 'carat' correctly!!

The replies I received to my online profile ran the gambit from totally illiterate to college-grade grammar, spelling, vocabulary and punctuation. I married one in the latter category.

My advise to people advertising anything online, whether to sell or buy, is to be as honest as you can and try to sound as educated as you can. Remember, what you post creates the only first impression you get.

Monday, March 07, 2011

President Obama hates white people.

That’s what they said of George Bush after the epic flooding in New Orleans and the south from Hurricane Katrina. About black people, of course. Bush supposedly didn't do enough to help the 'victims' of Katrina and now Obama isn't doing a damned thing to help Ohio with it's floods.  Everything must be viewed through the lens of racism. Especially when race has nothing to do with it!

Most of Ohio is currently undergoing sever flooding due to heavy snow fall followed by heavy rains. We even had a dam break on the Chagrin River that flooded more people downstream. Quite a mess.

What I think happened is that Obama got the keys to the machine that Bush used to flood New Orleans and turned it onto Ohio since it went so red in the last election. The floods are his revenge.

Obama hasn’t even been here to survey the damage! He doesn’t care about the poor, working stiffs of Ohio.

And, as far as I know, FEMA hasn’t offered a bit of help to the flooding victims. Not one bit. Obama hasn’t sent them to help anybody with their flooded basements and ruined furniture, lined up on the tree lawns all over my neighborhood awaiting tomorrow’s trash pickup.

I, myself, have some men coming tomorrow to lift my boxes and bins of stuff from my still damp basement. All loses to be recorded in film for the insurance adjusters, whenever they finally get here. Tomorrow, I will find out how many of my memories will join my neighbors’ on the tree lawn for the garbage trucks to take them away. I hope all my neighbors were insured! No one seems to have been spared.