More Computer Follies:

At a previous job, I was the programmer of the Access front end that we did all our work in. It was a huge program that gathered immense amounts of data into a SQL Server database.

The bosses had decided that I was to make certain fields off limits for a few lower-end users. I had this musical co-worker who, upon hearing of my newest project, started going around the office humming “Can’t Touch This”

When I was done with the newest revisions, I put into it code that would run only for her that would open Internet Explorer and go to You Tube and start playing MC Hammer’s Video of “Can’t Touch This”. The office manager was in on this gag with me so I figured I wouldn’t get into too much trouble.

I didn’t count on the stupidity of one of our senior managers. The office manager was late that day and the senior manager happened to be walking past my co-worker’s computer just at MC launched into his song and dance.

The senior manager freaked, assumed we had some horrible virus in the system and made the whole office sit there, doing nothing, until I got there at 9:00.

She was furious when I explained the gag.

I was quite offended that she would think that I would have damaged the company’s greatest asset on purpose.

I didn’t tell her that the office manager wanted me to pull the gag on the whole office! I figured I didn’t need both of us in trouble with this no-sense-of-humor idiot!!

I still smile when I hear that song!

Computer Stupidities

I’ve been reading this great website of Computer Stupidities and realized that I have a few tales of my own I could tell.

For instance:

At a former job, I had an older use who really didn’t understand anything about the computer he worked on every day.

One afternoon, he came to me, all upset.

“My computer is making this ‘bip-bip-bip’ sound!” He was very indignant. He took every problem with his computer personally; sure that his computer was out to get him, and all the problems were my fault, somehow, because I was the computer support person and I should just make sure nothing ever went wrong.

So, I got up, crossed the open office and sat down at his desk. I moved the file folder off his space bar and the sound went away!

“There ya go!”

He didn’t even say thanks!

I went back to my desk on the other side of the room and nearly strangled trying not to laugh out loud.

Computers

A few years ago, I stupidly clicked a link in an email and gave myself a virus.

The machine in question was 2 years old and clone to the machine I used at work, both Dells. My machine had shipped with Windows ME, probably the worst OS they ever came up with. The identical machine I used at work had Windows NT 4.0 installed and worked fine.

I have my own copy of Win NT 4.0 and had a tech friend of mine come over and change the OS for me on the new machine, replacing ME with NT 4.0. She copied the audio and video drivers onto a CD for me. Or thought she did, anyway.

After a heart-stopping half hour when I couldn’t get the computer to boot, it finally started up. I copied all my files onto CD and formatted my hard drive. When I reinstalled Windows, I discovered that the CD she had made me didn’t include my video driver like I thought.

So, since I knew this computer worked well with Win NT 4.0, I called Dell support, asking for a URL where I could download the driver I needed.

After wasting an hour of my time asking dumb questions, the tech finally put me on hold and went to ask his supervisor. When he came back, his manner was frosty:

“You changed the operating system on this computer. You are not entitled to any further support.”

Then he hung up on me.

I spent the next 2 hours searching the internet using my daughter’s computer, finally finding the needed driver on my own. I had changed employers and couldn’t go there for help. My tech friend didn’t have the driver, either, and was upset that she hadn’t put in on the CD for me.

About 2 weeks later, I got a call from Dell. They wanted me to rate my support call!!

Needless to say, I fried the ladies’ ears off with my ringing condemnation of their tech’s behavior. I hadn’t asked him for anything, just a web address.

I haven’t purchased another Dell computer nor do I intend to ever. I currently own an HP and a Gateway. I buy new computers every 3 years, desktops and laptops. That tech’s rudeness has cost them at least 4 purchases by now. Had he sent me to the website I needed, I would probably have been a customer for life. As it is, I counsel all my friends and family to stay away from Dell.

Since I’m the resident family computer expert, I’ve probably cost them a few sales.

At least, I hope so!!